A Wolf's Thoughts

I normally don't bother with politics at all. Especially the politics involved in picking a new President and Vice President of the United States. Why, you may ask? Aren't I concerned about who runs my country? Well, I am, BUT no matter how I would perhaps vote, the general public does not pick the leaders of this country. The Electoral College decides who wins, and guess what? they don't have to go with the candidate the people pick. So.. I normally don't bother since our votes don't really count for anything anyway.

However, this election I live with someone who is following a lot of the debates and speeches, etc. so I've gotten roped into listening to it to. And I've come to the conclusion that if McCain and Palin win, I'm seriously going to consider moving to another country, one where the leaders have BRAINS and are not all about war-mongering.

I just got done watching Sarah Palin's interview with Charles Gibson on ABCnews. I cannot believe her. She barely answered his questions, and her answers sounded like generic answers she'd memorized before hand. Also, she was very defensive throughout the interview. He'd ask a question about her opinion, no matter what on, she'd get a defensive posture and tone of voice and try to turn the question into something she had a ready made answer for. And, she had no clue what Gibson was talking about when he mentioned the Bush doctrine. You could see it on her face and once she figured out (sort of) what he was talking about she immediately launched into a speech about how America has to go out and get those big bad Islamic terrorists.

I was having flashbacks of the Red Scare and Senator McCarthy from the 1950's. Yes I know, I wasn't alive back then, but I've studied American history, a lot... like graduated college with that major so I know what I'm talking about. For years now, we've been living in the 21st century version of the Red Scare. Bush and company have been trying hard to keep people believing that there's a terrorist under every rock. Seems like Palin took the bait and ran with it. Sad, really.

Well, I've gotten distracted by some friends so... I'll probably come back to this later... but that's it for now.

I don't have any siblings. How did it affect me? Hmm... to hard to know really. I suppose that it affected me in that as an adult, I find it hard to be in social situations, especially with people my age or younger. I'm also not a kid person, I have no idea how to talk to kids or deal with them (though for some unknown reason they flock to me lmao). Had I had siblings I might not be as much a loner and, especially if I were the eldest, I'd know how to deal with kids better. So, yeah I suppose it affected me, but I love who I am so it doesn't bother me at all. With siblings I'd probably have turned out to be a totally different person.

Actually I don't think it's anyone's business what he does, or with whom. The only people hurt by it is him, his wife (if married) and perhaps children. Who cares if the one in charge is fucking some other chick for money? That does not inhibit a person's ability to govern, geesh. It's not like his penis really does do the thinking, and therefore the lawmaking....... Come on people grow up and realize that people in charge are people too, not some damn lily white perfect person. And as for prostitution, I really don't get why it's not legal. I mean, one can choose to go and work in dangerous situations... some examples that come to mind are police work, joining the military, mining, etc etc, where the risks would be death but one can't sell sex, which is a relatively safe occupation.... *sigh* Makes no sense to me... Then again there's a lot of things in America that make no sense to me.

So I pull up next to the mailboxes at my apartment building and park the car at the curb when another car pulls up behind me. I get out first and am halfway to my box when the driver of the other car asks a question in the form of one word, the name of a town. I turn, and say 'yes' as I realize that he'd seen the bumper sticker on my car that declares where I bought it. Then he goes on to ask where I'm from exactly, so I tell him and it turns out he's from a town near there, his hometown being the "big" city for my hometown. What are the odds? I mean, I just moved here, moved like 2500 miles away from that city and it's vicinity less than a month ago and here is another native from my home state in my own apartment complex. Ok, so I also happen to know there's a bunch of other people from my hometown, from my high school actually and one that was even in my own graduating class living in my new state, but to randomly run into someone you don't know that's from the area you grew up in? Kinda freaky, but in a good way. I guess it kinda gives a sense of not being so far away from home after all. Meeting people from around your home area sort of reminds you that no matter where you are, home is where the heart is.

So... I figured since I haven't been on here in forever it was about time I started using it again. I don't have any new writings to add at the moment, life has been too hectic for me to even consider writing anything creative. Breaking up from a long relationship, moving across the country.... it has been one hell of a summer. But now, things are settling a little. I've gotten settled in my new place with my new roomie, I've started to learn my way around my new city (it's huge compared to where I come from! lol), and I'm about to start my new job (which I was beginning to think was never gonna happen, they all want employees but apparently no one wants to call the people who apply *rolls eyes*). I'm really excited tho, to be where I am now. I think moving and getting a new start was just what I needed, cause I'm feeling really good about things. Things that would normally have stressed me out a lot, like the not getting calls about jobs for so long, barely bother me. It's kinda weird cause I've always been a pessimist but since I moved I've been feeling optimistic instead. Weird, but awesome.
Anyway, I'm gonna *try* to actually use this more often now. Not making any promises but I'm gonna try.

( Part X )

( Part IX )

This is my first venture into writing yaoi. Actually, it's the first story I've written since, well, high school, which was a while ago. I don't really think it's my best, but after being away from writing so long, I guess I should expect that. Anyways, here goes....

This poem, I absolutely adore this poem. It was written for my grandmother, who I was very close to. She passed away when I was only seven years old, but I spent a lot of time at her house and she was, and still is, very precious to me.


MEMORIES

My tears flow down,
Like the rain in a storm
As I sit here
Surrounded by memories.
My memories of you.
Your sweet smile,
Your gentle touch,
The patience you had
With a child so young,
The hugs I got each night.
I miss them all.
I miss sleep overs
And playing ball.
The pennies every Friday,
The T.V. shows and snacks,
And all the great laughs.
I miss it all.
You've been gone for years,
And all this time
There's been an empty place
In my life,
In my heart.
So many times
I've wanted to say
‘Guess what, Grandma,
Guess what I did today?'
I wish you could have seen
The transformation
Of the little girl
To the woman of today.


Property of Wolfenangel, original author.

This one, well I think I must have been in a very sad state of mind when I wrote this, though I have no idea why. It surprised me when I reread it, after so many years. My slighter darker side coming out perhaps?


THE WAR

In a cold dark world I sit.
Alone with no one to hold.
The world has turned it's back.
Hate is now the way to go.
No one cares.
No one loves.
All we know is how to
Attack and destroy.
The world was so much better
When love shone down over all.
Now hate has taken over.
Love and hate are in a war
Fighting for control.
I am forced to kill for hate
But I'd rather love.
I can't stand the killing.
Elders and babies all die at our hands.
I feel sick as I hear
Screams of terror.
I hide so I can't see.
Someone approaches and I know death is near.
Desertion is not tolerated.
They have found me.
In my last breath
I hear cries from outside.
The war is over.
Love has prevailed.

Well, I found my old disks that I had my works from my high school days on. I'm going to post some of the poems I wrote. As I said, I wrote them in high school, so I'm afraid they tend to have an idealistic, hopeless romantice feel to them. At any rate, enjoy.

Vampire is a poem I quite like. I've always been fascinated by vampires. I do believe my favorite author, Anne Rice, had something to do with that though...


VAMPIRE


I know you're there
I can feel your eyes on my neck.
A shiver runs down my spine,
I can almost feel your hunger.


Now you're right behind me,
I can feel your body against mine.
I shake uncontrollably.
You place your hands on my arms.


I turn and now you're in front of me.
I can see a fire in your eyes.
Your head lowers
And my mouth is yours.

Your kisses trail down.
Down my cheek,
To my neck.
I feel your teeth.

You lift your head and smile.
Your fangs glisten in the moonlight,
Glisten with my blood.
You turn and beckon to me.


I unwilling follow you.
Follow you to a cemetery,
Where a man stands
Weeping at a grave.


I approach him.
He turns.
I drink
And return to you.


You smile and take my hand.
Dawn is nearing,
And we must sleep.
You lead me home.


Two coffins.
Side by side.
A safe haven for us
Until tomorrow night.

Property of Wolfenangel, original creator.

Hmm, just felt like popping in here today. I haven't been on here in a few days, so it was about time, ne? I do plan on posting more writing, I just have to find it first haha. My files are such a mess...

Haven't written a poem in years and years, in fact, I haven't written one since I took a college course for creative writing and had to write one for class. I was just rereading an old diary from high school yesterday, and in it were several old poems that I had written and I wondered if I could still write poetry. So, here's my attempt at it.

Passionate Senses

Cerulean.
The color of his eyes,
When he looked at me
With desire burning there.
Vanilla.
The taste of his lips against mine.
Soft, seductive caresses.
Lava.
The heat in my veins,
When his hand brushed my thigh.
Musk.
The scent of skin,
His body close to mine.
Tenor.
The tone of his voice,
As he calls out my name.

Property of Wolfenangel, original author.